An Update Attempt...

So yes...i did promise...i'm sorry...instead of apologising for the rest of the first paragraph i'm going to try super duper hard to update you okay? And i AM truly sorry...
Oh and i suspect this will be quite a disjointed but severely honest post...just 'cos there's loads to tell and they are somewhat irrelevant to each other...hahah

So okay...the last time i posted i said i got into Discovery camp...it was the most amazing experience of my life. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It's quite a difficult experience to explain but if you get the chance to do it i say feel the fear and do it anyway. Step outside your comfort zone...Heaps of photos on my Facebook so have a squiz there okay? I'd do anything to go back to that moment in time...i was surrounded by so much support..for the first time ever in my life i felt accepted for just being me.

One of my mate's going overseas and gave me his old scooter so i've gotten my learner's license now and have been riding around. Freedom is awesome...i am loving it! Must admit its a tad scary cos other vehicles aren't the most considerate. I promise i've been careful though ok?! x I'll even take you for a ride if you come visit...hehehe She's quite a little cutie..Very old school...very vintage...she's even a kickstart...i christened her Sonja Eve Smile cos she's a Honda Eve Smile. Heheh..49cc..my baby..

Next, i am doing another Craftwerk in less than a month so let the monkey madness begin. I will keep you informed as i slowly lose my mind again =) I have a whole bunch of new ideas though and i'm already freakin out so wish me luck okay? And jez...i'm so sorry i haven't gotten round to finishing your order. It will happen...maybe even in time for V-day next year eh? =P

I am nursing a broken heart...
I don't want to admit it but isn't that like the first step to getting better? I don't think love has to be complicated but it has never been simple for me...so maybe it is and i can either avoid it forever or plunge into its chaos willingly.
I sometimes wish that my instincts weren't always right. I took a chance...i wanted so badly to 'simply' take a chance instead of trying to predict the future. I thought i could revel in a moment instead of being sensible.
I didn't want to listen to what everyone was saying...i wanted to come to the decision on my own.
I know we weren't meant to be together...as soon as i pull the plug i felt all the stress release me from it's suffocating bounds...but of course, one is never immune from the horrible missing or sense of emptiness..
Can i go back to being 16...when crying so hard for 2 days pretty much fixes everything?

I promise i'm okay...so please don't worry...i just felt like letting it out though...figured if i let it spill out here it might empty out my soul a little...

If i learnt only one thing at camp it would be that i can handle anything thrown at me...in this case..i am just missing the little things...and its temporary...i'll be fine...

xxxDeb